status quo
Recently, over at my cousins, we had sort of a jamming session, getting everything off our collective chests and trying to feel a bit better about the mess that has become life. During this session, i realized something....
i was not connected anywhere..
Almost in all scenario's the discussion involved "... and i asked S for advice..." "...M told me not too, but i didnt lissen..." "...U had been my support throughout ..."
No where was i mentioned.. infact, most of the stuff i had heard for the first time ever. And these were the latest controversies in my own family.
That night led me to thinking... about how much a member of my extended family i really am? Before, i've always kind of prided myself in not being involved in the petty discussions going on everywhere and being kind of aloof... but these things were not petty. They were pretty life changing decisions being taken by people i hold really close to my heart.
In the last couple of days, i've thought a lot... and i have'nt come up with a solution! i'm so bad at socializing, that my nephew and niece promptly forget me in between meetings, and everytime i have to remind them that i'm their mamo! They know my other two cousins by name!
On the other hand however, being aloof has allowed me to live a relatively peaceful life. Since im not involved in the pettiness, im not involved in the fights, i have no bad will with any of my relatives, the little while i do meet them, i have a pretty good time...
Of the choices i have right now, im leaning towards maintaining the status-quo.
i was not connected anywhere..
Almost in all scenario's the discussion involved "... and i asked S for advice..." "...M told me not too, but i didnt lissen..." "...U had been my support throughout ..."
No where was i mentioned.. infact, most of the stuff i had heard for the first time ever. And these were the latest controversies in my own family.
That night led me to thinking... about how much a member of my extended family i really am? Before, i've always kind of prided myself in not being involved in the petty discussions going on everywhere and being kind of aloof... but these things were not petty. They were pretty life changing decisions being taken by people i hold really close to my heart.
In the last couple of days, i've thought a lot... and i have'nt come up with a solution! i'm so bad at socializing, that my nephew and niece promptly forget me in between meetings, and everytime i have to remind them that i'm their mamo! They know my other two cousins by name!
On the other hand however, being aloof has allowed me to live a relatively peaceful life. Since im not involved in the pettiness, im not involved in the fights, i have no bad will with any of my relatives, the little while i do meet them, i have a pretty good time...
Of the choices i have right now, im leaning towards maintaining the status-quo.
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