The Word of mAn[S]o0r: City Submerged!

This wonderfully hilarious, sarcastic, truthfully narrated article caught my eye today while surfing through The News, a local english language news paper here. Give it a read! The picture i took yesterday, while going home from work. Its shows a road which is now a canal at clifton...

The News - International

City submerged! By Lubna Jerar Naqvi

Anyone familiar with Karachi will tell you that there is hardly anything to see in this city. But what many aren’t aware of is the recent vast archaeological project that the present government has undertaken to give archaeology a boost in the country. A single journey across the huge metropolis will explain this. You can hardly travel on any road in the city without coming upon several mounds of dirt and concrete and craters resembling the Grand Canyon; Karachi has just about everything except for civic amenities, rule of law and peace! But Karachi got its first monsoon showers in the last week of July and more excitement for the people. Mainly because...

For several months a majority of roads all over the city have been dug up. This extravagant project was undertaken mainly because the nazim says that he plans to fix all the underground pipe networks, including water and sewerage as all the pipes laid underground in the last half century are in a mess which explains the mixing of water and sewerage lines, and the spillage of waste onto roads. He and his merry men and women pledge to fix this mess no matter how long it takes, even if it means the worst maniac traffic jams in the city’s history, the other roads of the city will be worn out so that this team can divert their attention and continue this vocation there.

But sages say that our foreign-educated nazim is actually trying to unearth an ancient civilisation, so that Karachi can become an international archaeological landmark and then maybe it will get the attention it deserves from the authorities. While others say that our nazim believes that Rome was not built in a day, and so will leave the dug-up craters acting as roads to become slush with the rain to provide each locality with their own small water place.

And unfortunately this is exactly what happened when the monsoon deluge suddenly snuck up on Karachi this weekend. Well not really, the city government had been telling anyone who cared to listen for the past three months that efforts were being made to face the rainy season by cleaning gutters, hauling away filth and God only knows what else. But these rains proved the government claims wrong (again) and most roads have become perilous watery trenches; one look at I I Chundrigar Road, Karachi’s equivalent to Wall Street of Pak, with vehicles stuck in the craters below the murky water one can just imagine the state of the other roads of the city. And there is no knowing what a nightmare the under construction underpasses must look like. There is no knowing how many parts of the city are submerged and how many cars are sinking. Many cars and trucks have actually been caught on tape and relayed by GEO where these vehicles are seen stuck and sinking! Now where else but Karachi can one see such a spectacle?

Ahhh, and to top it off where would this city be if the KESC didn’t play its role. Many areas of the city have been without power for more than 24 hours (this is apart from the load-shedding), added to this are the dangerous dangling wires, which incidentally, if you were paying attention, are not so dangerous since there is no power. And then there is the hazard of falling (read chopped) weak (not always) trees. The interesting part is that many other cities, mainly in our beloved Punjab, face worse weather conditions, but the electricity stays put unless there is a vicious storm and trees are actually uprooted and flung across the roads (it has happened) taking the wires with them. Then there is no time limit to the outage but otherwise; one can enjoy the rain without drowning or being electrocuted in the rain like in our adored Karachi.

And now after the storm, so to speak, water stands and will keep on standing until the warm weather returns; filth which has miraculously surfaced despite the three month cleaning up operation will rot and stink until the nazim can haul his men out to do the needful. And speaking about the nazim, the poor man just recovered from the political imbroglio last week, and is now faced with this. But the brave man keeps insisting on the electronic media that things are under control, does he mean under water?

Everyone in Pakistan, especially Karachi, is a critic and we whine too much. Thankfully our leaders have always given us something to think and criticise, which is the mark of a healthy government and an equally spirited public. But too much rioting, as was observed recently, is not good for the already harried people of Karachi; don’t they have enough to keep them occupied with all the power breakdowns, maddening traffic jams, crime available at all hours of the day and night, bomb attacks, price hikes and unemployment. All characteristics of large cities all over the world! What more could a spirited people ask for? But the ungratefuls want more and we all know what happens to those who want more (with reference to Charles Dicken’s Oliver Twist). So the government just has to roll up its sleeves and call meetings (which are extremely important to while away the long hot days) so that the thankless people are kept entertained. This was the only reason the government came up with its own intrinsic fetish — excavation. And why not? It is innovative and no-one has done it before. And what if a little water has accumulated in these holes, another form of entertainment as is evident from the scores of people haphazardly parking their vehicles all over the place to get a glimpse of the water filled ditches below.

But why criticise for the sake of it (and it seems I am one of them), accolades must be given to the nazim and his team because there are some roads which have been completed and they are exceptionally smooth, in fact masterpieces. But what is the prudence of digging up well carpeted roads and redoing them at the inconvenience of the people if no new underground pipes are inserted. Why waste the taxpayers’ money and time on futile work where it isn’t needed, and ignore the road adjacent that actually needed to be repaired? Surely there is a reason for this official enigma, which the likes of us the commoners will never be able to appreciate. If we did wouldn’t we be the elected ones?