The Word of mAn[S]o0r: of a flower, choices, and self-doubt

I snapped this picture in my garden the other day. A single flower which successfully bloomed where all others around it had failed to, and it forced me to think about certain issue's i've been having troubles with.

For starters, it was being the first one in my family to get into IT. I was always apprehensive about that, even though im good at what i do. I studied 6 years to become a software engineer, only to switch tracks just as i graduated and get into consulting. Now this field, in itself, is new, and we're Pakistan's ONLY local company in this business. So once again, i'm alone. I've always had this inner voice telling me to get into the corporate life, with all its trappings. Somehow, it seemed very interesting to me, and afterall, everybody was going for the corporate lifestyle now.

This flower got me thinking, that maybe the way to shine isnt by being with the crowd, its by growing to your fullest potential, even when everything around you is very different from who you are. Otherwise, this flower would've been just another one in the bunch, and i would've hardly noticed it... right?

Am i making sense? Or am i just trying to pacify myself, justifying to myself, the choices i've made which led me to this point? Baz Luhrmann, in his song, Sunscreen, very aptly says "you choices are half chance, just like everybody else" so its no use to berate myself over them. Is it?

Labels: my life, thoughts